Today my husband and I attended the funeral of my aunt. Both set of parents are gone. And today marks the last aunt or uncle on both sides of the family.
That is the conventional wisdom, isn’t it? My husband and I are next in line? After all, we’re the oldest individuals in our families.
Death is no respecter of age.
It can come at any time to anyone. But when you’re the next in line in your family by age, it’s hard to keep that little voice out of your head.
There is so much more I want to do. I enjoy being part of the online community. I enjoy writing about things I know. I enjoy helping people.
I don’t take very good care of myself.
I admonish others to do that. I even have several self-care planners and journals to sell.
But do I do it? No. My daddy used to say, “do what I say, not what I do”. A great way out, isn’t it. It absolves you of all responsibility. Yet, it doesn’t.
I know what to do. We all do.
Why aren’t we doing more to apply what science tells us about longevity?
Laziness? Well, that’s one thing. Certainly, I’d rather sit in a comfortable chair and binge on a Netflix series with a big bowl of popcorn and a diet Sunkist Orange.
Procrastination? So, that means that I’ll do it one day? Fat chance! I have often justified procrastination as genius going on in the back of my mind waiting for a vision to bring it to the forefront.
Eat, drink and be merry? That’s one we seem to be trying out a lot. But it doesn’t do much for longevity. The merry part – maybe. I know that my husband possesses an inner contentment that I envy. I think that contributes to longevity.
Why must I always be thinking of something more I could do? I have this expectation that I have the potential to do greater things with my life. I’m 75 and I still don’t know what those things are, but I’ve been striving for them all my life.
Going back to that eat, drink, and be merry thing – the eating and drinking will surely do you in. That is, if you eat without regard to the nutrition your body needs to fuel your energy and brain. Any time you go through a drive-thru to pick up food, 99% of the time it isn’t good for you. Drinking anything other than water is also a risk. Even fruit juices have way too much sugar. And we know that sugar is poison. Right?
Ultimately, it all comes down to choices, or at least to some degree.
And responsibility. It is our responsibility, and ours alone to make the right choices in all areas of our lives.
Too bad many of us have been abdicating that responsibility to others and blaming them for our bad results.
P.S. The writer acknowledges that just making right choices won’t necessarily keep us alive longer. There is a power far greater than us in charge of that. But we could do better for ourselves. Right?
Footnote: After writing this post and attending the funeral, I ended up in the Emergency Room of the hospital! Nothing to worry about – just a little tachycardia that wouldn’t stop! But just to be on the safe side, this is the last time I’m writing on this specific topic!
Vicki, after reading this, I just want to reach out and give you a big hug or two…or three The first hug would be that I’m glad the visit to the hospital was nothing too serious, although I would maintain that anything regarding our heart is pretty serious :-). The second hug would be to tell you that you do things every single day that make a difference in this world and you need to stop thinking that doesn’t add up to a lot of good legacy.
Almost every paragraph of your article today painted a picture that I recognize only too well. The one thing I am beginning to get better is extending to myself the same grace that I try to extend to others.
Think about reframing how you are defining success for yourself. For years, I used standard metrics like income and recognition. Now I realize that the only part of us that really will live on is the love we share.
First of all, I’m glad you’re OK. Second, I found myself in too many places between the lines of your publication 😳. Third, I concur. While I do still have two 90-something-year old aunts living, I distinctly remember thinking “We’re Next up to bat,” referring to me and my siblings after our last parent passed away and feeling that spooky, weird, unsettling feeling that I was standing on the precipice. Oddly, I’m craving chocolate now.